Before I begin, I would like to make a disclaimer.
While I do have experience with self-care and mindfulness, I do not share the weight of 400 years of oppression and racism that Black people face daily. Therefore, I want to honor that the self-care practices I offer may only scratch the surface of what is needed to combat the daily challenges of Black individuals.
If you are in need of immediate help regarding your mental health, please talk to someone you trust or call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The University of Washington also has various mental health resources.
We are making history
This is the closest we have ever come to real systemic change. While we continue to give everything we have to stand up for the basic human rights of Black people, we cannot forget our own basic human right to rest. We do not rest to ignore problems and grow complacent, we do this to fuel the fire within us to spark change. We reflect and remind ourselves why we care and how we can achieve our goals. And then we keep acting,
until Black families can trust that their loved ones won’t be killed on the way to school or work,
or in their own home,
until Black individuals have the same access to resources such as health-care and education,
and until Black people can breathe.
Just as the system has been to the detriment of Black people, it has grown to dishonor humans in many other ways. We are always stimulated or working to the point that resting, a biological need, has become unnatural.
Why do we despise rest and instead fall victim to constant states of exhaustion, depression, and burn-out?
Because rest is radical, too.
Humans are not machines
The failure to honor this fact makes rest feel like a radical act in our society. Appropriately, self-care and activist movements – particularly the Civil Rights Movement – are intricately intertwined. Learning the history of rest and self-care makes it even more apparent how vital these practices are in fueling a movement.
Self-care gained traction throughout the 1960s as a priority for care workers, such as social workers and firefighters, to support themselves through frequent exposure to traumatic events. The recommended practice included simple essential tasks including eating nutritional foods, getting enough sleep, journaling, seeking medical care if needed, and spending time in nature or with loved ones. Self-care addressed the physical, mental, and energetic needs of humans.
Throughout the Civil Rights movement, the Black Panther Party promoted self-care as a vital practice for all Black citizens. This allowed them to remain resilient through the horrific pain and trauma of racism in all areas of their life.
Self-care, by definition, is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health, well-being, and happiness, particularly during periods of stress.” Audre Lorde, a Black activist, captured this concept beautifully in a quote from her book, A Burst of Light, that reads:
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
Self-care is not a luxury, it is essential if we are to make real, systemic changes. Rest and self-care are vital for the work that many of us are doing today, whether we are just waking up to modern racism, or have experienced racism first-hand since the moment we arrived.
So what are the next steps?
1. Step back and assess how you are feeling.
Exhausted? Angry? Excited? Guilty? Stepping back allows us to move from a place of reactivity to clarity. Assessing the weather in your inner world is a critical first step in understanding what you need at this moment. Through this process, aim to be as supportive of yourself as possible and honor whatever comes up. There is no “right way to feel”.
Becoming self-aware goes a long way in developing emotional intelligence while doing activist work. For example, engaging in tough conversations with family members may be easier when we can observe ourselves and others’ feelings from a place of curiosity, acceptance, and self-compassion. This may help avoid succumbing to the intensity and discomfort that often accompanies dissonance with loved ones.
2. Invite your new best friends: self-compassion and self-acceptance.
The practice of self-care is often confused with self-improvement, but that friend is not invited to this party. Welcoming all parts of who you are can unlock doors to relaxation and reflection. You are worthy just as you are, and self-care is about realizing that.
As you work to recharge and replenish your energy stores, there may be some negative voices that come through. This is normal! As humans, we have a negative bias that developed evolutionarily to help us avoid danger. Knowing that our minds and bodies work in this way can be helpful in creating more support from within.
Affirming phrases work great to balance this negative mindset. Some examples include:
I am safe.
I listen to what my body needs.
I am strong.
I am supported.
I love myself.
3. Ask yourself what you need.
Find activities that make you feel good after you do them. A misconception about self-care is that it revolves around chocolate cake and expensive facial treatments. While those are great, true self-care goes much deeper and is not always enjoyable.
For example, breaking ties with a toxic relationship is a major challenge, but in the long-term, it will likely benefit both parties involved. That is where "preserving oneself" comes into play.
Self-care can often be confused with numbing behaviors that bottle up emotions rather than finding ways to nurture and massage them. With this in mind, the weight of the world can sometimes become too heavy, in which case it can be useful to immerse in a distraction momentarily.
The main difference between numbing and self-care are instant versus delayed gratification. In the end, we must feel to heal and that is a long, messy, but imperative process to growing and evolving.
4. Respond.
With all of the information you have acquired by tuning into your body and mind, you can start to find ways to nurture and recharge. Each person can develop a unique blueprint of what works best for them. As you continue to read, notice that all of these practices take only a few minutes AND have exponential benefits.
Personally, I often turn to my journal and write out everything in my mind, whether it be positive and negative. This works to remove me from my situation enough to see the bigger picture and relieve the overload of thoughts racing in every direction.
Another practice that is particularly effective and easily accessible is tuning into the breath. We breathe about 25,000 times a day, and these breaths can often be shorter than they should be due to our static tendencies or slouched posture. This sends our bodies into fight-or-flight mode without us even realizing it!
By lengthening our breath for even just a few minutes, our parasympathetic nervous system is activated, sending signals to our body that we are safe to relax. The heart rate will slow, blood pressure will decrease, and using the breath as a focal point can calm our minds, too.
Lastly: gratitude. This is perhaps my favorite because it works wonders in rewiring the brain to find the good. One example of incorporating this practice is writing down three things you’re grateful for after waking up in the morning or before falling asleep at night. No matter how horrific life gets, we have a life, we have a body to help us navigate the world, and, if you’re reading this, you probably have a roof over your head (and wifi).
The moral of the story
We need to love and care for ourselves with the same passion we show the Black Lives Matter movement. We are a team, and the immense support behind this movement allows us to rest when we need it. When we return to action, we are creating space for another activist to rest. Therefore, by taking care of ourselves, we take care of one another.
Through self-care, we will sustain this movement,
until police funding is redistributed to areas of social work and community resources,
until all Black people can feel liberated and held,
and until we can love ourselves so passionately that love overflows into the world around us, too.
Amplifying Black voices
Below, I have listed some Black self-care influencers you may enjoy learning from.
The Nap Ministry | @thenapministry
Dive In Well | @diveinwell
Light Watkins | @lightwatkins
The Loveland Foundation | @thelovelandfoundation
Black Girl In Om | @blackgirlinom
HealHaus | @healhaus
Ethel’s Club | @ethelsclub
Latham Thomas | @glowmaven
Therapy for Black Girls | @therapyforblackgirls
Black Mental Health Alliance | @black_minds_matter_
Rest for Resistance | @qtpocmentalhealth
Sista Afya | @sistaafya
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